blue loki
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Aspirant
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Re:Burden of the Elite: A Narrative Deathwing Prim - 2006/04/04 16:47
Very nice article! Wow, you managed to get a lot of good info in there.
The Deathwatch refrence would have thrown me off as well had I not read the comments first. It does appear to be a misprint, as it is not explained or expanded at all, and because the word is so similar to "Deathwing".
Perhaps a brief conversation with the main character saying something like:
"Did you misspeak, Brother? Surely we avoid the Inquisition like the plague!"
"No, indeed. The Chaplain helps to spearhead the Emperor's war against the Xenos threat. Blah Blah Blah..."
Or add something about attempting to ease the fears of the Inquisition by complying with their requests for personel. "Keep you enemies close". That kind of thing.
Or closer to home, the Deathwing's hate of the Genestealer drives many member to join in the Xenos purge.
Not that I want to tell you how to write! Its just that the lack of expansion on the statement makes it feel more like a typo.
Good work! Keep it up.
"Thou art the whisper in the gloom,
The hinting tone, the haunting laugh:
Thou art the adorner of my tomb,
The minstrel of mine epitaph."
- The Dark Angel, Lionel Johnson |
